Im not as special as you are
If I say, "Man that was a great song." Assume that I dont know the name of the song or the artist. I have news for you: IT DOESN'T MATTER TO ME.
At this point the guy is livid. How is it possible that you like the song but dont know the name??? Well retardo, I like MUSIC. If I liked names I would think of names for my future children.
And you cant just like the music, you have to know it. The seemingly innocent question " Do you like
Ifyou are in this situation, explain the snot that you are "only into the music man", and that you try not to "concentrate" on the "outside forces" that might "take away" from the "purity" of matchbox twenty or Guns n' Roses.
If you do this you might be able to avoid trivia such as "How many pimples did Lars have in the second version of the music video"one"?
Then of course if you say you like the music, there are those that will ask you how each song makes you feel. If you give the wrong "feeling" you become a fraud. Another important tidbit: I don't put that much thought into anything (as evident from this blog) and I especially dont think how I feel when I listen to "Stairway to Heaven." Shocking I know. Music is just a way to chill, not my religion.
Dont think Jewish music fans are better. They are even worse. Pompous. So very Pompous. If you dare say that you bought the third solid Gold CD for that one song that sounds like the Lion King, you will get blasted. I mean c'mon dude its Solid Gold. Jewish performers always put their best songs on CD's that dont have their names plastered across the front of it.
Knowing the music is not even enough in the Jewish world. Most of the mainstream stuff is pretty well known, and the Hits are so few these days most people Know it.
You better be quick with the Trivia. "Do you know that the kid in yeshiva Boys Choir, second row 4 deep, smoked Yeedles second to last Cigarette, on his mothers birthday?
You also need to own every Jewish CD that ever came out. No cheating. You cant buy the CD's later and then claim that you own everthing, you must pay the full 20 dollars for all the CD's when they come out. You also need a couple of obligatory autographs and the likes.
The most important thing that a jewish music fan must have, is of course, a relation to a singer. You must know his family, what he eats for supper, if he farts after eating to much cholent, and if he does a good Job with kabolos Shabbos. No jokes.
And then there are the sports Junkies. Oy Vey. "So are you a Baseball fan?" "Yes."
"Oh really?" "Yes, a Yankee fan." "Did you suffer through the tough years??? Through the eightees and early ninties when they were a bad team???? Huh??" " Um no dude, I was about 3,4,5 - 12 in those years. I enjoyed Mashed peas, and Mr. Rogers Neighborhood mostly."
"Well then you arent a reeeeeeeeeeal fan, you have to suffer first. Suffffffer. You here me kid??"
"Yes, sir. I mean I became a fan of baseball because I thougt they were a good exciting team to watch, and they bring me joy. I guess it makes sense to try and suffer so I can be a real fan like you." (I can go on about hockey fans, but I dont want to bore you any further)
The bottom line is, that sports is entertainment. I guess to be a real fan of movies you have to watch Gili over and over again.
Again sports is a way to chill and procrastinate not a religion. (Dont tell that to the Texans and thier High School football religion.)