I will finish that story... later.
Some random thoughts for the New Year.
1. When you flush a toilet, dont just flush and walk away. You might end up coming back three or four times because the water looks like Pi$$. Yes, brown water. No im not a racist. I like my water clear. thanks.
2. Dont question someone who wants you to take them to the bathroom. Ever. You might end up in spongebob boxers with a huge stinky mess.
3. Dont sing songs that have been "created" in the last 5 years during kedusha, hallel, and the like. Especially English songs. They dont inspire, just annoy the heck out of us lowly yeshiva guys. Yes, that includes mama rochel and the like.
4. If I hear one more time that girls are not superficial I will throw up.
5. To impress a girl, a guy must sing really loud, make all kinds of funny animal noises, and become an all out fool. One suit, a scruffy beard, and a couple of ties do the trick.
6. For a girl to impress a guy she must change her clothes 19 times a day. She must iron or gel her hair for 24 hours before meeting them, and she has to have an "outfit" for every situation. That includes sweats for "casual" bus time.
7. In certain circles girls do not wear shabbos robes. I know. Crazy stuff.
8. If I ever hear that all girls do not think about marriage all the time from conception, I will also throw up. Please give some examples of what else they might discuss. Thanks.
9. Just because they are mentally ill, does not mean they dont enjoy, Cold soda. Cold DIET soda, food that is enough to go around, food in general.
10. Never, Never, eat yellow snow.
I will return with more. I almost forgot about this baby.
1. When you flush a toilet, dont just flush and walk away. You might end up coming back three or four times because the water looks like Pi$$. Yes, brown water. No im not a racist. I like my water clear. thanks.
2. Dont question someone who wants you to take them to the bathroom. Ever. You might end up in spongebob boxers with a huge stinky mess.
3. Dont sing songs that have been "created" in the last 5 years during kedusha, hallel, and the like. Especially English songs. They dont inspire, just annoy the heck out of us lowly yeshiva guys. Yes, that includes mama rochel and the like.
4. If I hear one more time that girls are not superficial I will throw up.
5. To impress a girl, a guy must sing really loud, make all kinds of funny animal noises, and become an all out fool. One suit, a scruffy beard, and a couple of ties do the trick.
6. For a girl to impress a guy she must change her clothes 19 times a day. She must iron or gel her hair for 24 hours before meeting them, and she has to have an "outfit" for every situation. That includes sweats for "casual" bus time.
7. In certain circles girls do not wear shabbos robes. I know. Crazy stuff.
8. If I ever hear that all girls do not think about marriage all the time from conception, I will also throw up. Please give some examples of what else they might discuss. Thanks.
9. Just because they are mentally ill, does not mean they dont enjoy, Cold soda. Cold DIET soda, food that is enough to go around, food in general.
10. Never, Never, eat yellow snow.
I will return with more. I almost forgot about this baby.
10 Comments:
Sooooooooo glad you updated on these deep topics. Missed your blog. Glad you are back. Thanks for the words of wisdom as always. Don't be a stranger...
We talk about other stuff. Like FOOD. And snacks. And believe it or not, some of us actually like baseball and cars... and did I mention the Giants are awesome? And snacks. And which restaurants suck. And what kinda drinks are fruity. And which aren't.
skim: hey there.
henny: I actually didnt say anyone was shallow. Read carefully. Oh and its not all about you. Really.
Liberal: I still cant place her though the name sounds familiar
s:Im sure. Fruity drinks? How about a pina colada? Im sure you love the giants. (s who are you?)
cd:
i love every line of this post, and i get it all. especially the spongebob boxer part.
we couldn't have done it without you! you're the best man.
peace, and see ya soon.
-zj
Oy! lol
hhmmm do i sense some anger there? jk
yes girls can be very superficial especially the brainwashed ones. i even live with one.
believe me i would love to have girls to talk sports with, but that is considered way too "superficial" by most so i have to limit myself to discussing sports with guys and on my blog. it prevents me from losing my mind because i have no patience to discuss clothes and the latest gossip.
i recently discovered that i like my DIET soda with a nice splash of scotch. :-)
Ummm, no offense, but I hadn't started to think about marriage until i was 19.
Now I'm 21 and single, so look where it got me.
lakevent: thanks for the commetn
bell: Uh Oh drinking the sorrows away. Dont worry the Yanks wil do better next year.
hennrietta: sorry you feel that way. Never mean to offend people
michelle: Im not offended. Though I agree i was a little frustrated maybe, possibly at the time of the post. in fact if I always had time when i was at peak frustration to blog this would be the best blog ever.
As for the comments. You started thinking about it at 19? Or did you start always talking about guys etc. Im not saying(ok i did) that all girls are like that. Being 21 and single might have gotten you a degree though. Maybe you shouldgo to events like I just attended and get yourself a great guy.
And for all of you, are you saying that you and other girls you know, are not superficial?
Oh and guys are much much worse(myself included) but thats not the point here.
Girls are not superficial. Well, not all girls at least. And to impress the ooposite sex, try this-be yourself. Duh. Surprised no one ever thought of that before. I'm a genius. :p Oh, and one mroe thing, we do not talk about marriage all the time. We also talk about school, life, and other things. Marriage is not the first and foremost thing on our mind.
it just happens its the same superficial girls who also wear the 19 outfits and the helmet head, and talk about marriage all the time..
youve just been meeting the wrong ones..
if you want the nonsuperficial, shlumpy clothed, frizzy haired intellectual, you'll have to look elsewhere..
(ooooooh suddenly doesnt sound so appealing.. now does it?)
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