The Very Best Place For A Penny
I came across this book in the ezras nashim this morning. Dont ask me what I was doing up there, or what I was doing reading kids books, I just was.
Anyways The very best place for a penny looked cute. I was tired and I had some time till They caught up to me in shul, so I read it.
I should've known what was coming. I figured it out in the middle.
But lets reset. First you have a penny. The penny was telling the story. Thats ridiculous in itself. Pennys dont talk children. I know I know money talks. Guess what. Its an inanimate object. It doesnt talk or have feelings children. Plus its hardly money. But we will get to that.
The next annoying thing was the Penny was large. It was about 3 feet tall. Thats just stupid. Pennies arent three feet tall.
Ok fine if you want the penny to be three feet tall then at least be consistent. Cause that poor penny. First the boy put him in his pocket. His friggen pocket. So now we have giant boy with giant pocket. Oh but the poor penny was slightly constricted in the pocket. Poor penny.
Not. That spoiled copper coated ingrate. He has to share a pocket. BooHoo. Another great lesson for the kid. Im sure you will be so happy when little snot nose says he needs his own room because sharing his sleeping back with his 4 brothers is too constricting.
He should have said " wow its warm in here. I love it. I dont mind the thread, the keys, the pocket knife, and the whippets."
The penny was also wearing a stupid green checkered, like the ones those boys who swept chimeneys in London wore. It is supposed to invoke sympathy for the dumb penny. I dont feel for oliver twist, or a penny with a green hat. The hat was staying on despite the fact that it has a narrow penny head wit ha presumable narrow penny brain.
Then he gets thrown in the wash and complains that he got wet. Oh boo hoo. You got cleaned. The 43 years of dirt you accumulated while you were in circulation is gone. No more snot, dirt disease, and cholera on your body. Oh and another thing, if this penny is alive he should be an older penny. Draw in some wrinkles so ur kids can repect elders and money all at once.
He gets thown in the dryer then under the bed. Thats were the ball talks to him.
First of all Mr penny looks so dumb in the picture. His feet (feet) are sticking out and his dopey hat is also. Thats right he is three feet tall again. He doesnt like it under there. Boo hoo.
Ok so what happens? WELL A REAL LIVE HUMAN BOY that doesnt talk puts him in the pushka with the hugest opening ever. The hole for it was prob a foot wide. I guess its an angular thing. Anyways that pi$$ed me off. Ok so we teach kids that the best place for a penny is the pushka. Ok. Thats cute.
Well guess what. Thats my policy too. Pennies are no longer money. I once counted out 150 pennies because they wouldnt take a check at the pizza shop and I had no cash. I got the dirtiest look. Pennies are good if you want to be heard. You Jingle and jangle em around.
You can use them while hula hooping.
You can even eat them. Its like drinking alot of water and jump roping afterwards but instead of the sloshing wurble wurble sounnd of the washing machine, you sound like an old lady hitting the jackpot at Atlantic city.
Pennies are for stores to keep things under the dollar mark. The soda is only 98 cents. Buy soap for $4.99. Buy a car for 18,978 and 87 cents. Its ridiculous. Soda is a buck. I know it. Id pay more not to get the pennies.
It happens all the time. "Keep the change."
"Are you insulting my intelligence?"
"No, what am i gonna do with all those pennies?"
"Give it to the bagger dude"
"ok"
Bagger dude: thows it right back at me and demands 3 bucks due to inflation
Then there are the people with steel pennies. My lil bro was so excited. "Its worth something"
"No its not, in fact its probably more annoying to people because it doesnt jangle as well."
"But they are rare"
"They are only rare from before the times of Lincoln, no one cares about you 1942 penny"
"Its gotta be worth more then a cent"
"woopdie doo"
( i just looked it up. The ratty ones are 10 to 20 cents! woohoo. You rich bro. The good looking ones 10 - 20 bucks and the really good looking ones never breathed any air or been touched, are 70 bucks)
You can also save pennies. My grandparents did that for years. (Like 50) and saved like 100 bucks. I bet you they bought lotto tickets with the money. Its just ridiculous. They get everywhere. Pennies are the roaches of coins. They used to buy you a choclate soda and a model T, now they get you.... Nothing.
That brings me back to the pushka guy. He comes to our house to take the money out of out pushka. Ok imn ot saying we dont give tzedaka but the pushka is not where we put the bigger bills, or coins.
The poor dude has to count out like 200 pennies, load it into the penny sack, which is bulging from the other 4 families he went to, and give a receipt. Its really embarrasing.
But hey the book said that the pushka is the very best place for a penny.
How else can we get rid of em?
(I am a big proponent of thanking hashem for every penny that i get, Hashem i was joking, poseach as yadecha etc. I dont need him teaching me a lesson bc of a blog post.)
Anyways The very best place for a penny looked cute. I was tired and I had some time till They caught up to me in shul, so I read it.
I should've known what was coming. I figured it out in the middle.
But lets reset. First you have a penny. The penny was telling the story. Thats ridiculous in itself. Pennys dont talk children. I know I know money talks. Guess what. Its an inanimate object. It doesnt talk or have feelings children. Plus its hardly money. But we will get to that.
The next annoying thing was the Penny was large. It was about 3 feet tall. Thats just stupid. Pennies arent three feet tall.
Ok fine if you want the penny to be three feet tall then at least be consistent. Cause that poor penny. First the boy put him in his pocket. His friggen pocket. So now we have giant boy with giant pocket. Oh but the poor penny was slightly constricted in the pocket. Poor penny.
Not. That spoiled copper coated ingrate. He has to share a pocket. BooHoo. Another great lesson for the kid. Im sure you will be so happy when little snot nose says he needs his own room because sharing his sleeping back with his 4 brothers is too constricting.
He should have said " wow its warm in here. I love it. I dont mind the thread, the keys, the pocket knife, and the whippets."
The penny was also wearing a stupid green checkered, like the ones those boys who swept chimeneys in London wore. It is supposed to invoke sympathy for the dumb penny. I dont feel for oliver twist, or a penny with a green hat. The hat was staying on despite the fact that it has a narrow penny head wit ha presumable narrow penny brain.
Then he gets thrown in the wash and complains that he got wet. Oh boo hoo. You got cleaned. The 43 years of dirt you accumulated while you were in circulation is gone. No more snot, dirt disease, and cholera on your body. Oh and another thing, if this penny is alive he should be an older penny. Draw in some wrinkles so ur kids can repect elders and money all at once.
He gets thown in the dryer then under the bed. Thats were the ball talks to him.
First of all Mr penny looks so dumb in the picture. His feet (feet) are sticking out and his dopey hat is also. Thats right he is three feet tall again. He doesnt like it under there. Boo hoo.
Ok so what happens? WELL A REAL LIVE HUMAN BOY that doesnt talk puts him in the pushka with the hugest opening ever. The hole for it was prob a foot wide. I guess its an angular thing. Anyways that pi$$ed me off. Ok so we teach kids that the best place for a penny is the pushka. Ok. Thats cute.
Well guess what. Thats my policy too. Pennies are no longer money. I once counted out 150 pennies because they wouldnt take a check at the pizza shop and I had no cash. I got the dirtiest look. Pennies are good if you want to be heard. You Jingle and jangle em around.
You can use them while hula hooping.
You can even eat them. Its like drinking alot of water and jump roping afterwards but instead of the sloshing wurble wurble sounnd of the washing machine, you sound like an old lady hitting the jackpot at Atlantic city.
Pennies are for stores to keep things under the dollar mark. The soda is only 98 cents. Buy soap for $4.99. Buy a car for 18,978 and 87 cents. Its ridiculous. Soda is a buck. I know it. Id pay more not to get the pennies.
It happens all the time. "Keep the change."
"Are you insulting my intelligence?"
"No, what am i gonna do with all those pennies?"
"Give it to the bagger dude"
"ok"
Bagger dude: thows it right back at me and demands 3 bucks due to inflation
Then there are the people with steel pennies. My lil bro was so excited. "Its worth something"
"No its not, in fact its probably more annoying to people because it doesnt jangle as well."
"But they are rare"
"They are only rare from before the times of Lincoln, no one cares about you 1942 penny"
"Its gotta be worth more then a cent"
"woopdie doo"
( i just looked it up. The ratty ones are 10 to 20 cents! woohoo. You rich bro. The good looking ones 10 - 20 bucks and the really good looking ones never breathed any air or been touched, are 70 bucks)
You can also save pennies. My grandparents did that for years. (Like 50) and saved like 100 bucks. I bet you they bought lotto tickets with the money. Its just ridiculous. They get everywhere. Pennies are the roaches of coins. They used to buy you a choclate soda and a model T, now they get you.... Nothing.
That brings me back to the pushka guy. He comes to our house to take the money out of out pushka. Ok imn ot saying we dont give tzedaka but the pushka is not where we put the bigger bills, or coins.
The poor dude has to count out like 200 pennies, load it into the penny sack, which is bulging from the other 4 families he went to, and give a receipt. Its really embarrasing.
But hey the book said that the pushka is the very best place for a penny.
How else can we get rid of em?
(I am a big proponent of thanking hashem for every penny that i get, Hashem i was joking, poseach as yadecha etc. I dont need him teaching me a lesson bc of a blog post.)
7 Comments:
That was one of my favorite books as a kid.
And that cute boy on the cover looks EXACTLY like my brother did at that age.
I love pennies. If you and the bagger dude don't want 'em, I'll gladly take them all.
(What were you doing in the ezras nashim?)
I once gave my lil bro all my pennies. he was real excited. (he was five then.) the best thing to do with pennies is exchange them for dollars. or ya, put them in the pushka.
I remember that book! I think it was pretty good actually.
I can't believe you never read the book until now!
Your post was hysterical, i'm sitting here at work cracking up :)
Also, you know, most organizations take the pushkas to banks to deposit, and the banks have fancy penny counter machines.
I should know, it's one of my jobs!
Hisb: Ezras nashim is where the cool chicks hang out
trix: My bro has more money then me. (friggin bar mitzva...)
LV cool J: It was good but not good for the youth
Not stam: Well i didnt read it bc i went straight past that and the classics to trashy thrillers like stuart woods.
Limey: What is a pound? oh its a bloody 2.somethinbg dollar bill.
I guess I won't be buying that book for my daughter.
oh my oh my, im laughin so hard. this is too too funny. as i was readin ur post, images of that ol fashioned book came to mind and just made me laugh harder
im gonna forward this to a few people i know who im sure will appreciate this.
(heeehee still giggling)
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