Another annoying coke concept.
There are a few things that annoy me about coke. even pepsi has a couple. This is actually a serious issue and really not meant to be funny at all. Not even a bissel.
1) There are a million different types of cokes. With Lemon, with lime, diet, with caffeine, without, twisted, multiple personality, tar n' nicotine, etc. Im pretty sure they even have this new coke "black", which is coffee flavored coke.
Just a side point: Are they friggin nuts?? Coffee + coke = insane blood pressure levels. Coffee + Coke + chocolate bar + my high school class + regents + nodoz = psychotic teenagers. And don't think they havent come with something comparable to that. It was green, came in a two liter bottle, and I drank it like crazy to stay up all night. Thats right. Suuuuuuurge. Im wired just thinking about it. The FDA must have had a field day ripping that one off the market.
2) Then there is sprite. Im wondering if coke is halacha and sprite is torah shebeksav lehavdil (only kidding) because while coke is always changing, sprite stays the same. Pure and simple. Of course I dont drink sprite, or any other regular soda. (No Im not gonna do the " why do people order a triple cheese burger with a diet coke bit"). Diet sprite is disgusting, though i prefer it over non flavored warm, musty seltzer.
The point is that sprite should be changed a little. The best light soda is Diet Cherry Seven Up. I can see it now bubbling in my cup, the frothy CO2 bubbling over the side of a cool glass, on the beach in malibu with gir.... um er where was I. Oh right. So 7 up realized, hey! lets add cherry to the darn thing! woopie!
Sprite said " lets tell coke what 7 up did!" Such morons. Im angling for a taste testing job at Ben N' Jerrys (because contrary to popular belief in that moronic company "silly" names dont sell. I would like to know what is actually in my ice cream, images of monkey throwing up chunks, and dead fish dont work for me),
but coke is next in line.
3) Oh and one last thing is their old classic, cherry coke.
You might have wondered why there are 6 pictures of cherry coke. Well I decided to ponder the evolution of the cherry coke wrapper. Its something that always bothered me. I wonder if that makes it good advetising or not.
Pic one is circa. 2004, two is 1986, three is 2000, four is 1994, five is 1990.
lets go through this quickly for those that have A.D.D.:
1985/6: Not bad for that era. It might be the lack of computers in the eighties that made everythng so ugly. The clothes the hair, the people etc. This list now includes the cherry coke can. When i first saw it I thought it looked very "seventies", but it might be even less cool. In fact it has a certain old school charm to it. fine.
1990: Uh oh. They needed a change! They had some more technology to work with, so they felt the need to add color. The cherry color. Ok. But ow I know where rokeach and other jewish companies get their newfangled soda bottle designs. The "New" on the can might actually be true. They might have done the same stupid thing they did to coke, change the recipie. Why not? It was working, so change it! Good idea. I wonder if its really called cherry coke classic too. Morons.
1994: This change gets my panties all in a bunch. Its like ugly purple wallpaper. But not so bad. It has the cherries on it. But really, is it any worse/better then the old version? Will i start drinking this now? Answer: No! In fact those idiots were marketing towards me! I started drinking Dr. pepper at the moment i saw this. (Yes they are re-using this can now as well. another really smart move in the era where every kid is doing graphic design on their mommys macs.)
2000: Huh? This one was a shocker. I have to admit I was kinda attracted to the little guy. It was so ridiculous a design on so many levels. All you readers are used to this design, but when it first came out you could not believe how bad it was.
Its biggest problem was probably the fact that the "crazy" lines were giving people internal seizures. Wonderful.
Lets try and re-create how this design came about. There are 15 "suits" sitting in coke towers. and they are all discussing how horrible their cherry coke design is.
Larry: " Hey Sherbert I bet you my 3 year old can come up with a better design then your pansy purple n' cherry disaster from '94"
Sherby: "Ok you're on larry. Lets put the advertising of this multi-million dollar soft drink in the hands of box of crayola's and a 3 year old"
Larry: "10 bucks?"
Sherby: "you're on"
Larry to kid: Hey what did you learn today "vannila twist?"
kid: " how to color black magic!"
Larry: " thats great. can you come up with design? Ill write in the letters cherry coke on it afterwards" (yes that is Larry's handwriting)
Next day
Larry to semi retarted board: "Wala! Here it is"
Semi retarted Board room after a couple of drinks to get over their hangovers:
The rest is history.
Newest design: boring, and looks like all the other coke product designs. Sheesh.
17 Comments:
Maybe I am a total nerd, but I like this piece a lot! I love how you got all the pics of the old cans (one of my fascinations).
Did you notice that Sprite has been marketed to the Hip Hop culture lately? What if a 35 year old white man wants to drink it?
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
YOu used bissel in the wrong context. YOu shouldve wrote shtickel. DOnt go using my word in the wrong way.
I rember all except the first two. I only started drinking cherry coke when the "black magic"came out. I like that design. its unique and very aztek like. also like the new one. its sleek. at the time of the purple and black I liked it too. but honestly I never gave it much thought.
and yes I cracked up reading this one a few times.
oh right. I only drink nestea and brisk and mountain dew. I was a big surge fan at the time. was quite upset when they stopped selling it
The more caffeine the better. As of now, they have no effect on me. I can drink 3 coffees and 2 pepsis, and it doesn't keep me up. :(
And what are you talking about? Sprite did change - they have this whole new sprite zero shtick. And after I finally got used to the new bottle, they just changed it again, and it took me about 10 minutes till I realized. I must've gone up and down the aisle 50 times until I found it.
You're right - diet cherry 7-up is the best, but it's impossible to find.
And btw, this was a hysterical post.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
a) Im totally embarrased now that I asked people to tell me if Im funny. I always hated peoplke like me.
Michelle. Im honored to have you here. Oh and Im sorry to say but if you enjoy any one of these post you arent just a nerd, but nerd of the herd. I kinda like the old soda cans too. The reason why almost everything that doesnt sell well is sold to the hip hop nation, is because they blow their money on anything that will make them cool.
SW 1 and 2: You are not complicated, and to address HissB, sprite zero is just splenda added. Making it sickeningly sweet.You wiiiiiiiish you were complicated
Numa Nerda: I was giving you attention oh middle child
Trix: I liked it too. Did you ever try code red??? That stuff is almost as lethal as surge, and its RED!
HissB: They changed the Fresca too for a short time. I loveddddd the new flavor, but they pulled it. And yeah This stuff doesnt really affect me as much either. Guess youll have to try the amphetimines.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
You are as complex as a straight line.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
No way Jose. Comprende?
look, this one is funny. I only tell you that the funny ones are funny. go back to the ones that I didn't think were funny and you'll see that I didn't say they were funny. so you can judge if your post is funny based on wheather I said I laughed, and the degree of funny if I said I snickered or cracked up or couldn't stop laughing (I'll let you know when you do that one) so now that we established that you don't have to worry that everyone is just trying to stroke your ego, I can tell you that I once tasted code red and I don't remember it, but it spent a while in the fridge, so it must not have been so great.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
I actually liked the one witn the cherried on it. It sorta matched the taste. (I was a little kid then, so maybe I could be excused)
Anyway, I think they changed the sprite label recently.
i love this cd. your analysis is quite refreshing. when do i see you next?
DoodL: They did change the sprite label, but i was talking about the flavor.
Zen: Howdy stranger! I havent scheduled yet, but you can tell me when your on and Ill see what I can do.
Post a Comment
<< Home